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03 January 2016 @ January 03, 2016
Maybe. I want to write again.
Maybe. I want to start living a life outside of work and family.
Maybe. I will leave earlier than I wish. Maybe, they will make me leave.
Maybe. I will take up things I never imagined.
Maybe. I will enjoy it. Maybe. I won't.
Maybe shall always be a maybe unless I try.

Every morning I open my windows to glance at the greenery outside, hoping to be welcomed by a cool breeze that will fill my lungs - getting me pumped up like a fully charged Energizer rabbit. But this doesn't happen everyday - opportunities alike.

Sometimes "he" comes by, all dressed up and gently calls out to you, informing you of "his" arrival. Then "he" enters and gives you a big warm smile, asking you to follow "him", no one else but you.

Sometimes "he" cannot wait for you. "He" will send you a text, asking you to give him a buzz when you read it. Then you ponder and wonder about whether you want to return the call. And when you do, you are definitely lucky if "he" is still available, because there have been times "he" had gone away with someone else. Someone who acted faster. Someone more convincing. Someone more determined.

Sometimes "he" doesn't even appear. "He" goes missing. "He" doesn't let you know where "he" is. You have to find "him". You put up notices everywhere, rampage through the streets, searching high and low for "him". Any signs or any traces would help. You pieced the clues together and set out to find "him". There "he" was, waving and grinning, amused at the sight of your fatigue and surprise. But as you close up, he starts to back away. You muster your remaining strength and spring forward, grabbing "him" by the back of "his" shirt, begging "him" to stay.

Sometimes "he" stays. Sometimes, "he" slips away. "He" may not be ready for you. You may not be ready for "him". "He" may not be right for you. You may not be right for "him". Maybe. You will never know until you try.

Opportunities don't always come knocking on your doors.

I want to find the inquisitive and audaciously bold child in me for the courage to go further. Only then, I will truly see the fun of trying new things, falling down, brushing off setbacks and getting up again.